- Cut to the hands on the computer (POV)
- Camera behind the computers reflecting on my glasses
- Cut into shot of banging the computer (Zoom in)
- Close up hitting the computer
- With the "Screens." title, take away the full stop
- Make the shots shorter but add a few zooms
- When the lights go off make the ringing of the bell go at the same time
- Reshoot the ringing of the bell
- Adding another shot of trying to open the small door
- Another shot of opening the door handle
- Walking shot to the glitched screens
- Audio levels need to be higher
- Turn off the screens on the computer in the projector scenes
- Scrap the next day title. Instead swap it with fade in and fade out
- Cut off the scene of Harleen walking. Needs to not wobble
- Audio when walking
- Two shots matching so the opening of the small room door is smoother
- Add a better ending:
- Instead of leaving it where the technician walks out. Instead have them both walk away and get locked in. With a hand being projected in the background
- Credits need to be shown
I will be taking on this feedback and make adjustments to my first draft.
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